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^_^ Laughed at. [Jun. 15th, 2005|12:28 am]
[Current Music |Dir en Grey ~ Obscure]

I went and saw a movie today by myself. I was the only one in the theatre for a while since it was a late show. Then about 5 teenie bopper girls walked in, probably out of boredom or coming from another movie, and saw me, and laughed. I was thoroughly amused by this. I geuss it is a bit sad and pathetic looking being at the movies by yourself but I didnt really care and I just smiled and waved. I dont know if they were taken aback by this or not but all in all I'm just a lowely hermit anyways right? RIght ^_^
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Zo [Jun. 8th, 2005|11:25 am]
[Current Music |Dir en Grey ~ The Final]

Once in a time a while back when life was still and the world was greener, a statue did move and lived in a glade that circled the circumfrence of every palisade. This statue loved peace and made friends wherever it went; it was always the attentive listener. Meditating in gardens of sprawling lush flowers, letting the sun wash over its smooth, cold figure, its quiescent ways intrigued the wildlife and the occasional passer-by. As always a turbulent world is as always it will stay, the problems of its friends concerned it deeply, so the problems would stay in its mind ending with a solution for the querent and a smile as they left. The palisade moved without sound that could be heard from miles around, to caverns imbedded in the deepest of earthly places; to the farthest reaches of sky where castles with donkey headed dragons resided. Thus was this stone monolith searching for neither a question nor an answer but a place that didn't exist yet was present every waking day. Some called it a mind-set and left for other destinations while others continued with there cares and worries. Still as the statue it was it never balked at the presentations and never realized the void inside. No talent to speak of so the palisade moved to the next site of tangent depth. The palisade itself was once a magnificent structure now reduced to rubble and scattered remnants of might and magic come past. Vines ensnarling the the broken bits of buildings, and streams flowing through cracked fountains made up this facade of paradise. In the last path of flatlands it traveled the statue came upon a querent who, like the others, questioned and worried. Yet the questions answered and worries somewhat abated the querent stayed by the statues side not wanting to leave. The statues puzzlement deepened as what use was the statue if there was nothing to be gained or answered? Such bewilderment dissolved as the querents presence became enjoyable and relaxing to the statue. Of course in the end things are never as they seem such as the reality dreams really are. Just as the illusion came questioning the querent left, leaving the illusion brightly placed inside the navel of the statue. It worked its way through the stone innards finally resting in the mind of the statue. Was it possible for this illusion to break a solid, stone statue that traveled, never resting? Sadly it was not enough and in time the cracks mended over and the statue stared at the empty space that was once occupied. The Final, the intention is clear, I stare.... with this left hand, unable to worded, every time I bleed, there lies the reason to live...and I discover words being so vivid and bright, even loved ones scatter like petals from flowers in my hand, so even if I engraved the meaning that I lived in my hand, the petals will only scatter as flowers of vanity.
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Travesty [May. 26th, 2005|07:02 pm]
[Current Mood |sadsad]
[Current Music |Gorillaz ~ Dirty Harry]

A good friend of mine is leaving a place he has come to know as home for him. Just reading what he wrote down about his friends and experiences there made me feel almost as if I was there with him or at the least reminded me of my time in California. The pain and sadness he is feeling I can relate to cause even though I didn't show it when I left I was very very very very sad about leaving all my friends. I had made so many in a short time and had gone through crazy, stupid, exciting, and downright fun times with them. I miss them very much and I'll get to see them for a little when I visit in July and maybe even august. So dont fret Imperator for you will see your friends again. Maybe when you get back we will devize a scheme to find lodgings in the area you were living at and chill with your friends like I intended to do originally. Goodbyes come and go and some friends do the same but your true friends last forever and you'll spend a lifetime of friendship with them. Until you get back enjoy your remaining time out there. I'll see you later my friend. ^_^
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Africa [May. 20th, 2005|07:28 am]
[Current Mood |curiouscurious]
[Current Music |Psycho Le Cemu ~ Heaven~II~Dance]

Well this dream must be commented upon since it was very odd. I was in my old backyard in California and not the one I recently was living at but my childhood home. I was playing chess with John Cleese and we were discussing African history and culture and such. Oh and there were volcanoes everywhere. Yeah.... they were just erupting around us and we didnt even seem to notice. Then we went through a bush and I geuss ended up in the Amazon. Thats about it. Crazy stuff though.
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Alone [May. 16th, 2005|09:19 pm]
[Current Mood |Alone]
[Current Music |Ayumi Hamasaki ~ Inspire]

I've been alone now for a while. Girlfriend wise my whole life and friend wise about a week now. I dont know anymore. I really am getting quite tired. I kinda want to sell my car and most of my possesions that I find useless and buy a one way ticket to Japan. I wonder how well I would do with no friends, very little language background, and no school supporting me. I could always live in a park there and find some kids that can speak somewhat english and join a band.
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Love Hina [May. 9th, 2005|11:39 pm]
[Current Mood |Exestential]
[Current Music |Ayumi Hamasaki]

Dreams are real to me

Sleep my only conduit

Exestential you

Leave me to my fantasies
The only thing left real to me
The dreams I live in are my home you see
My lovely little fantasy
Let me live in my fantasy
Reality doesn't exist for me
Lost forever in a dream to be
Loves an illusion I want to see
Forests, flowers, and spring love await me
In my home of worlds called fantasy
Please don't take me from my fantasy
They're more real then you are to me
Beautifully it unfolds to me
I'm deeply melded in my fantasy
Worlds expand and contract for me
In my everpresent fantasy
Let me live in my fantasy
It's all I have left to me
My fantasy is reality
So don't change what my eyes don't see
Just open your arms wide and wait for me
Someday you might find me
Inside my fantasy
So say goodbye
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Virginity [May. 8th, 2005|12:16 am]
[Current Mood |discontentdiscontent]
[Current Music |Mindless Self Indulgence ~ Ultra Sex]

I was thinking about losing my title of virginity and giving it away. I'm sort of sick of being a virgin anyway. People look at the title as so admirable and worthwhile when really all there seeing is a rarity nowadays. Nothing more then that. Like some endangered species found in the wild and captured for captivity to study and probe. Maybe thats the only reason girls have liked me. Maybe if I lose that it won't matter anymore. Maybe.
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Could you hand me a leg? [May. 5th, 2005|04:36 pm]
[Current Music |Hide ~ Bacteria]

Theres no use toying with me now it's to late for me. I've cracked now it's over with theres always tomorrow maybe.
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Mongoloid Capsule [Apr. 30th, 2005|04:02 pm]
[Current Mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[Current Music |Zilch ~ Sold some attitude]

Going through some old documents of mine a happened upon a notebook a friend of mine and I started writing songs in. Mainly out of inspirational spite for the opposite of sex since both of us at the time were having troubles with them. Not to say I'm still not having troubles with them. Forever they will complex me driving me insane. We only wrote two songs. He wrote one and I wrote one. This first one I write was done by him.

Too Loose by Tony

Oh baby...
You're so bright
So happy
So smart
So pretty
But you got to GET OUT OF MY LIFE, because....
Chorus x 2
You're Too Loose!
So Loose!
Too Loose!
First impressions and instincts sometimes lie
You don't look like a crazed sex-machine
Only one thing kinda tipped me off...
At your house batteries were in short supply
Chorus x 2
Damn Loose!
Way Loose!
Poking at your socket with hate and distain
The lack of friction making me insane
The thought of your pussy fills me with rue
You could put 5 of me inside 1 of you!
From day to day
No will no way
Nothing to do nothing to say
Gotta go, won't stay
Too Loose
They can bury me in you!
So Loose
So this is what a blackhole is like.
Damn Loose
You sure your not in porn?!??
Way Loose
No cesarian birth for you!!
Sehr Loose!
Cho Loose!
Muy Loose!

If you couldnt tell there was a lot of pent up anger there. This next one I wrote. At the time I geuss you could say I was being used a lot, but again now that I think about it we were listening to lots of Lords of Acid and really High on Coke and Funyuns. That will make anyone go crazy.

Vitals by Saquiel

I recall in dead of night
The time when I met you
Dress askew and hard to hear
To comprehend I did not try

You pushed me on so fowardly
I didn't know what to do
Recollection of my memory
Rings out this awkward cry
You never know
You don't need to try
You don't understand
I'm not that guy
Ever persistent you never knew
There was nothing ever there
Driving needs both hands you see
Not one will be spared for you

Desert winds blow soothingly
Refreshing is the nights sky
Following you grabbed my hand
Pulling away so none could see
I will never let you be mine
Clowns parade on high ground
They think they always lead
A spectacle is all I see
So clap until you bleed

Yeah mines not much better. Well I geuss the moral is beware mixing coke and funyuns.
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Of whims and wings and strawberry things [Apr. 23rd, 2005|05:33 pm]
[Current Music |Dropkick Murphys ~ The Dirty Glass]

What do you do when your lost in a dream? Depending on the whims of childish things and desires to see what can or can't be, you may so do what the child in you would do most anytime when lost in the fantasy of your choice. Stay a while and see where you go. The friends that aren't real yet love you anyway or the ones that are but don't exist for the moment. You might grow wings, or become a ninja in Hinata, you might become entwined with someone you so desperately seek. Its real for right then and there for right now so dont question the where, why, and the how for it only will bring the moment and date, for the time when your mind says, " It's time for you to wake." ^_^ Have a strawberry on me.
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